Conflicts are the part that can hardly be rid of in a family. Parents and children were not born the same way, they have their characteristics and perspectives to reflect on daily problems. As a consequence, not everyone can act completely in harmony with each other. Especially when it comes to boosting or lowering their ego in certain situations, children may constantly ask themselves “Why are moms so annoying” without acknowledging the main reasons for it.
Let’s take a look at the below scenario to analyze the mother’s and son’s point of view. From that, we can find out what acts as a driving factor behind annoying parents, and whether or not it is a misconception of moms.
Children’s Point of View
My name is Connor, a 12-year-old boy. One day, I was going to join and throw a small party with my friends. It was a sleepover when a group of kids gather at a friend’s house and stay overnight.
Everything went so well that I couldn’t help but make up all the fun in my head before the party. What I was gonna do, what we’re gonna bring, and how thrilling the atmosphere would become. Every question made me tingle with excitement.
Of course, I had informed my parents about the plan. They said yes, of course, with one condition: Call them back after arriving so that I could confirm my presence at the friend’s house. No problem!
I thought it was a piece of cake until misfortune struck me out of nowhere. After having a small chat, my mom noticed that my friend’s parents were going on a holiday at that time. No sooner had she heard that news than she took back her earlier words. Just seconds later, she requested me to stay home. This made me so irritated that I might never talk to her again.
Mom’s Point of View
My son, Connor, once asked me if he could go to his friend’s party then stay there overnight. Christmas was approaching, and he’s 12 at the time, so a sleepover should have been a thorny problem. Besides, my husband got into a quite good relationship with the other kid’s parents. This somehow made us feel a bit more relaxed because they were very thoughtful towards children.
It took us 45 minutes to drive from our home, so we decided to take Connor to the destination. However, my husband’s car got stuck in a bad traffic jam while he was passing through the main street’s bottleneck. He said that people kept jumping the queue, which added more to the congestion and made it even worse. He needed at least 30 more minutes to pull out from that situation.
Therefore, I agreed to let Conner go by bus, only if he called me on arrival so that I would know he’s safe and sound. Needless to say that Connor could do nothing but show his keenness to join the party that night.
Our son was always a nice kid, so we didn’t have to worry much about his manners on most occasions. Suddenly, he told me that his friend’s parents were busy going on a trip for at least 2 more days. My sense of relief evaporated in an instant, replaced by a surge of anxiety and uneasiness.
Sure, all the kids were not so small, yet still not mature enough to take care of themselves without parents. Had it happened to be a case of emergency, we would not be able to respond in time. As mentioned earlier, it took us 45 minutes to reach their house. Also, we didn’t know anyone around except for the other kid’s parents who were already absent from home.
Consequently, I changed my mind and forced Connor to cancel his plan.
Why Is My Mom So Annoying: Crack the Case!
According to some psychologists, they have found a way to explain the root of this problem. From their perspective and research surveys, it is the family system theory that exerts a significant influence on how parents think and act. Of course, these behavior patterns tend to madden children and make them wonder “Why are moms so annoying”.
In the parent’s mind, each family should be poised in an absolute state of balance which assigns every member to a specific role. Pooja Lakshmin, M.D., working as a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry, put forward this idea. In other words, no matter how grown you are, your parents will probably consider you to serve the same role as a little child for the rest of their lives.
On the contrary, what children have in their minds is that becoming an adult means becoming independent of the other adults in the family. Therefore, out of millions of phrases in the dictionary, “my parents are so annoying” may be among the most common to be used by sons and daughters.
As in the aforementioned scenario, that the mom tried to protect her kid and screen out potential risks is out of the question. Every mother would do the same without thinking twice, even when she has to meddle in sensitive matters.
Rarely can parents believe that their child is mature enough to keep everything under control and never go far off the path. They know that if something bad happens, parents are the only ones to blame and take responsibility. If there are no other choices to make, your parents would always say no from the beginning.
How to Deal With Annoying Parents
To be honest, there is no such thing as the best way to deal with an annoying parent. However, we can take advantage of some psychological tips to avoid being irritated by parents.
Prepare for the inevitable
Most parents express their annoying part when triggered by a controversial matter or dispute in the family. Hence, children can learn from the experience by recognizing what action usually causes parents to nag. Try to avoid expressing those topics while your parents are around. If you have no choice but to confront, please handle the situation with gentleness.
For example, old-school parents are not familiar with new technology. They can easily get angry on their own, then keep complaining and spreading that negative emotion. Sometimes, they are too excited to show dominance over their kids in a conversation about appropriate outfit choice, or spending habits, or relationship advice. It is obvious that parents speak from more valid experience but only to a limited extent, which leads to the next recommended step of dealing with annoying parents.
Empathize with them
Under any circumstances, children should keep a cool head instead of overreacting. Explain the high-tech stuff through simple steps and illustrations. Listen to them patiently, give a slight nod when receiving some advice. Keep in mind that your mother just wants to provide as much knowledge as possible, which they think can somehow make our life better.
Bruising their ego by talking back to parents never works. That only makes children feel more criticized while parents are deemed to be too sensitive. To address this, keep reassuring yourself that it is an act of caring, not a negative judgment. Otherwise, you will be caught in a double bind without solving a bit of “Why are moms so annoying” questions.
Have your own space
You don’t need to face up to your parents all the time. Find a personal space to tuck in, as simple as hiding in your room for 5 minutes to calm down. Experts consider this an effective method of anger management: To distance yourself from the triggering source then tame your temper.
Last but not least, don’t push your parents in the hope of finding a magical solution to their stubborn attitude. Over time, you will realize that all they have done is for your own sake, that you are willing to come back and show them more gratitude than ever.
After all, there is no exaggeration to say that your “I love my mom but she annoys me” statement should change to “I love my mom even when she annoys me” in no time. People who are annoyed by their mothers will love their mothers anyway, that’s inevitable.
For parents, please don’t miss out on the “How To Stop Arguing With Your Child” article.
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