For anyone who’s not become a parent yet, you may be asking why it is urgent to know how to unspoil your child. Let us explain a little bit more before delving into details.
Suppose that you were waiting in line to check-out before exiting the mall. Suddenly, your daughter spotted a Barbie new-edition package on the shelf nearby and asked if he could have it. “Daddy, I really really want this…”
As a sensible parent, you were not gonna splurge on this toy box just because your child wanted it. What happened next was your child screaming and crying so loud that everyone couldn’t help noticing. By the way, you’d be lucky if he didn’t practice shoving and kicking stuff.
People around the mall threw glares at you while they couldn’t stop thinking about how spoiled you kid was. What would you do to get out of that situation?
Sadly, there are no solutions that bring about immediate results. It takes parents a great time and effort to learn how to deal with an ungrateful child.
- What Makes A Spoiled Child?
- Why Kids Should Not Get Pampered By Parents
- 3 Common Signs of A Spoiled Kid
- How To Unspoil Your Child: A Detailed Guide & Steps
What Makes A Spoiled Child?
It happens when parents keep fulfilling their child’s wishes promptly with few or even no conditions.
Although their intent is good, they are doing nothing but spoiling their kid. The child will assume that everything revolves around their desires and needs. Probably, it leads to spoiled behaviors and attitudes whenever their concerns and feelings are not satisfied.
On the other hand, some people also present another viewpoint. They believe that kids cannot spoil themselves.
Instead, it is parents that become the spoiled ones. Sometimes, they are afraid that saying no can hurt the kid’s feelings, indulge their kids with everything possible. Sometimes, they are just too weary to argue with children, and so on…
In other words, children are just made to think they are entitled to privileges, yet don’t know how to appreciate things. Meanwhile, most parents do not know how to provide their kids with the tools to reverse the consequences.
Why Kids Should Not Get Pampered By Parents
We get it when you want to see your child being all smiles after getting his favorite toy or ice cream. You do the same thing several more times, still no problem. However, your action will gradually make your kid develop a habit of expectation, not appreciation.
Other families and their children probably don’t like spoiled kids. Rude behaviors and selfish attitudes annoy people, which will pose a challenge to pampered children when they try making friends.
Without parents’ indulgence, a spoiled kid will find it difficult to deal with disappointment. Over time, they’ll show more tendency to give up whenever encountering a hard situation in life.
There’s another detrimental effect associated with spoiled children that should never be overlooked: They are too concerned about their benefits. All they have in mind is themselves, leaving no room for their friends, family’s, even parent’s needs.
If parents don’t succeed in setting limits, their ungrateful children will surely grow up being disrespectful and irresponsible adults. That’s why you need to grasp how to unspoil your child as soon as possible.
3 Common Signs of A Spoiled Kid
1. They throw a tantrum when getting disappointed
When you say no to their question and demand, kids normally express some disappointment. However, a spoiled kid’s response will never be like that. They are always on the verge of a meltdown, ready to express their frustration instead of trying to communicate.
Kids can even develop spoiled behaviors since they were toddlers. If these emotional outburst keeps happening, chances are your kids have already been spoiled for a long time.
The same happens when they are involved in a game or competition. They can’t stand the idea of losing. They tend to find excuses to blame others or try to take all credits on their own.
2. They’re never satisfied
Parents think they should satisfy their children’s needs to fix their attitude, but that’s a definite no-no to learn how to unspoil your child. Doing it time after time, they have gone too far to draw back.
Because spoiled kids don’t learn to be appreciative, it’s never enough for them. They feel self-centered and entitled. Therefore, they expect special attention and favors from parents. All they care about is what their next toy is, not how many toys they already have.
In worst-case scenarios, they will completely run out of patience and demand things ASAP. They’d rather that someone fulfilled their wish immediately, not tomorrow, not a second later.
3. They refuse to do their task unless they get “bribed”
When it comes to simple daily tasks like taking a bath or brush teeth, spoiled kids still need some motivation. By motivation, we mean favors and treats, even money or new toys.
If you think that bribing your child once is acceptable, think again. Don’t get surprised when your child constantly asks for treats before cleaning the house or washing dishes.
How To Unspoil Your Child: A Detailed Guide & Steps
Learning how to unspoil a baby or even a teenager is not the same thing. However, most parents can follow these fundamental steps to seek the best solutions.
1. Find Out Where It Started
As we have mentioned before, it is parents that hold accountable for their kid’s spoiled behaviors and selfish manners. They think that promising children the best life quality can earn them love and appreciation, but it doesn’t seem right in all circumstances.
To tackle this, parents need to start saying no immediately. This is the stepping stone that will eventually help you know how to unspoil your child.
Stop thinking of buying your kids new clothes every week as a way to show off your financial status and fashion manner. Instead, try to identify the reason behind your act of spoiling your children.
Are you overwhelmed by workloads and tired of watching your kids? Are you considering this a way to make your child love you more? When you figure out what serves as a driving factor behind your actions, it’s time to take the next step.
2. Lay Down Your Own Rules
Not only rules, but consequences also need to be set. Let’s say that your daughter demands a new toy every Saturday, or else she will refuse to do the homework. Rather than spending a few dollars on unnecessary stuff, why not set new rigid rules like “no TV and computer time if you don’t finish your homework”?
In this case, your daughter has 2 choices: (1) Skipping homework, losing both the toy and means of entertainment; or (2) doing homework, keeping the privilege of using the TV and computer.
The latter choice should be more appealing. With just a simple decision, you have turned the tide, making your child understand that she can no longer go far off the limit now.
3. Don’t Feel Guilty For Not Spoiling Your Child
Normally, a spoiled kid will show no interest in complying at all. In case your child reacts aggressively after hearing about the new rules, don’t panic.
First, double-check whether the rules are appropriate for the child’s age.
If not, make some adjustments. For example, a 30-minute instead of a 2-hour cutdown of TV usage should be reasonable for a preteen child. If everything comes in handy, wait till the child calms down.
Next, try to empathize with them. Spark a conversation with a mild tone of voice, explain why you need to do it. Make sure she gets the logic behind the rules, that she needs to behave if she wants to earn privileges.
Of course, no matter how hard you try to reason with your children, don’t be so upset if they show their stubborn side. Kids are likely to question parents, again and again, asking why they can no longer do what they want.
In that case, no need to feel guilty or sorry for them, just simply put the discussion to an end. Note that you may have to repeat it a dozen times. Still, keep in mind that you are showing how to unspoil your child in a proper way.
Eventually, your child will move on and demonstrate their compliance.
4. Practice Their Gratitude
The main problem with spoiled children is their lack of appreciation. Therefore, to learn how to unspoil your child, you need to teach them a lesson of gratitude, even patience if possible.
Start with little tasks like telling them to practice saying thank you when someone does them a favor. Another way is to spend 15 minutes every weekend writing thank you notes with them.
As a result, your children will have the chance to reflect on positive things in their daily life and acknowledge kind actions with sincerity. Encouraging everyone in the family to join with the child can make considerably more progress.
Now your child knows how to appreciate things, that’s good. However, they may still struggle to deal with disappointment when something doesn’t come immediately.
To succeed in unspoiling your kid, you need to teach them the art of patience as well. Help them develop self-discipline and a realistic expectation of getting what they want.
Leading by example is one of the most effective ways. For instance, suppose that you and your son stopped by a famous clothing store in town. Let him know why you decided not to buy an extremely eye-catching sweatshirt, such as “My old ones are still doing well” or “I’ll wait till the upcoming discount event”.
5. Indulge Them In The Right Things
Parents can spoil their children? Yes, but not in the traditional ways that people think of. Instead, pamper them with non-material encouragement.
This will help you avoid the risk of spoiling your child again. A weekend morning reading a comic together on the couch, watching a match of your favorite baseball team with the child,… all can be rewards for kind actions and respectful behaviors.
Acknowledging your kid’s achievements can also benefit you more than you thought. It doesn’t matter if your daughter has won acclaim for her school grades or just succeeded in solving a puzzle game. Celebrating the moment and allowing her to choose dishes for dinner are no doubt the best things to “spoil” a kid, you bet that!
Still wandering here? Why not collect some other viewpoints on 4 Methods To Handle When Your Child Says Hurtful Things To You. We’re sure that your parenting knowledge can be much more consolidated after reading the article.