Let’s imagine that you – mother of a 6-year-old boy – work hard all day long to earn a better living for the whole family. After that, you come back home and see your house littered with a mess of papers and toys. This happens daily no matter how many times you have told the kid to mind his stuff after playing. What frustrates you the most is that your child disagrees with everything while you can’t figure out how to deal with an argumentative child.
What would you do to improve that situation?
I know, the ultimate solution is just… stop imagining. Still, this is not simply a fictional scene you often watch on TV series, but kinda a commonplace issue of ordinary life. Countless couples have admitted that they struggle every day with the neverending story named “kids arguments”. Therefore, this article will try the best to help you know how to stop kids from arguing, starting from 2 brilliant methods provided by real professionals who speak from experience.
Stop Showing Dominance Over Your Argumentative Child
There is one common mistake made by parents who are eager to find out how to deal with an argumentative child. They always take back their control and put more influence on the kid without acknowledging its backfire effects.
Plenty of evidence has suggested that exerting more influence never helps in such a scenario. Instead of trying to take the spotlight and be the MVP of the argument, you should just pull yourself out. “Class dismissed”, that’s it!
The mind of a kid works differently from adults, making them feel entitled to think and do as they wish. Therefore, your effort to counter their points would draw no attention. In fact, it can become less valid than you thought, even sometimes make no sense to them.
Of all methods, the best one to address this situation is to calm yourself down. Take a deep breath, allow both of you to have some personal space. By doing this, the child will return to a positive state of mind. This creates more opportunities for you to have a better conversation without overreacting too much.
“What if my son keeps putting himself in a rage mode every time you come back to talk?” Repeat the process of walking away again until he manages to swallow his pride – as simple as that.
A Gentle Conversation To Deal With An Argumentative Behavior
If your child is inclined to have a talk that diverges from the previous argument topic, it is good news. This means that the child still feels connected to the parents. As a result, they are willing to make amend in place of engaging in a verbal fight again. The logic behind this manner is that some kids would prefer to rebuild their trust and find an ultimate solution than stay away and get stuck with a mess of thoughts and feelings.
The classic way is to open up a gentle conversation with your child. For example, start with “I may not be a good parent, but I am happy to hear your suggestion and help us get along better together”. Accordingly, you make them feel acknowledged, encouraging them to get things off their chest.
Sometimes, the problem comes from complicated roots that lead to your child’s disobedience. These may include a high level of stress (overloaded with homework), lack of sleep, insecurities, and pubertal development effects. Some of them can also serve as a driving force behind parents’ overreacting tendency, which is related to work/life balance issues.
It doesn’t matter if your ideas are not in sync with the child. Always show empathy under any circumstances, or else you should never figure out how to deal with an argumentative child. After that, taking a further step into a family responsibility agreement will not be a hard egg to crack anymore.
If you don’t have a knack for talking, there are a whole host of activities for you and the child to take part in together. It is advisable that you play a game together, go shopping for candy and ice cream… Do not push him too hard, take a step back if he refuses to join; at least you have given him another option to choose from.
Besides, pay attention to games like Monopoly. According to some surveys, it is the board game that causes arguments regularly in a group of friends or during a family get-together.
To know oneself is true progress, and to handle children who tend to argue with parents needs an all-out effort. Before doing that, try taking a sip of tea to calm down, you will know how to overcome your obstacles and help your child take a load off his mind.
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