The Laws of Behavior

One of the biggest problems in many families is that children don’t do what their parents want them to do. Parents know that they need to accept their children as individuals and respect their thoughts, feelings, and emotions, but they are often clueless about how and what they need to do to get their children behave the right way.

The principles of behavior training are similar to the laws of physics. They exist no matter whether you know about them or use them. Just like gravity is present in our lives all the time, the laws of behavior training are present in all learning and teaching situations. Whenever you try to change a behavior, in yourself, in your spouse or in your children, you are using these laws whether you know about it or not.

Unfortunately, most parents use these laws inappropriately, just like the society uses these laws in a wrong way.

One of the main points that scientists have discovered about disciplinary actions is that in order to be effective, these actions need to occur at the time of behavior that they are attempting to change. This is the reason why the effectiveness of changing people through sending them to a prison is so low. The gap between the action and the consequence is so long that people don’t really learn anything.

While most parents do not see themselves as sending their kids to prisons, they do that by depriving, coercing and threatening them. They flip when things go wrong and pass up the opportunity to deliver praise when things go right. Parents are often harsh and impatient with each other and with their children. They are simply not in tune with methods that behavioral scientists use to install a new behavior, modify an existing behavior or to get rid of a behavior altogether.

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