Parenting Questions and Answers

Source: http://www.parentinghumor.com/categories/daddydearest/becausemother.htm

There are certain phrases and questions you hear only in houses where there are kids. Words, sentiments or expressions that would be unique to within the walls where families live and children grow — and nowhere else.

According to Mrs. P, some of these phrases could very well be heard where only husbands live too, but I resemble that remark.

Anyway, here are a few favorites:

Can I please peel your banana for you before you eat it?

Whose socks are in the microwave?

Please don’t climb on the cat.

I’LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL GET IT!

Get off the phone right now!

Where are my shin guards?

Please don’t use your shirt sleeve to wipe your nose.

Get down off there.

What, do you think I can see through you?

You call this clean?

Quit touching yourself.

Because I’m your mother, that’s why.

Because she’s your mother, that’s why.

Daddy? … Daddy?… Daddy? … Daddy? … Daddy? … Daddy? … Daddy? … Daddy?… Daddy?

Will you PLEASE get your finger out of your nose.

The answer is still no.

I don’t care what everybody else’s parents are letting themdo.

If Lindsay said she was going to jump off a bridge would you jump off a bridge too?

It’s MINE!

Don’t hit your sisters.

Did you wipe?

Yes, but did you wipe good?

As long as you live in this house, that’s the way it will be.

Beats me, ask your mother.

How should I know, ask your father?

I was a kid once, too, ya know.

I don’t know HOW LONG it’s been, but that’s not important.

Who forgot to lower the toilet seat?

It wasn’t me.

… and do it THIS INSTANT!

What time is it, where is it, and when do I have to pick you up?

As long as I live there will never be another slumber party in this house.

You promised I’d do WHAT?

There’s not enough money in the world.

Stop that and eat.

Stop eating that now.

Chew your food.

Don’t talk with your mouth full.

Get off the couch with that cupcake.

Who spilled cupcake crumbs on the couch?

Close that refrigerator door RIGHT NOW.

You pierced what?

What is that silver thing in your tongue?

Turn off the light when you leave the room.

Don’t `But, Dad!’ me.

Yeah, sure it was an accident.

I will NOT be ignored.

Don’t make me come over there.

If I have to get up out of this chair …

I’m sorry, but this is not a democracy.

If you can’t play nice, then you can’t play at all.

Please don’t yell from room to room.

Sure, I understand.

Knock first, PLEASE.

Are you bleeding?

‘Cause if you’re not bleeding, you’re fine.

Don’t.

Don’t.

DON’T!!!

Stop it right now.

And how long have you known about this?

I don’t care what so-and-so is doing.

If you don’t behave … I’LL GROUND YOU FOREVER!!

Any reason why you always disappear when it’s time to set the table/wash the dishes/clean your room/take the trash out/feed the cat/feed the dog/make your bed/do your homework?)

I am sick and tired of (FILL IN THE BLANK) …

You’re right … life isn’t fair.

Let’s face it, it’s already something like the nature of a woman to go visit the beauty parlor at least once a month. But, those who are pregnant have to be extra conscious. This is because they have to be aware of the chemicals that they are being exposed to as it may pose a danger to them and to their child.

Here are some guidelines about the use of those said products:

1. Avoid treatments that straighten, bleach, perm or color hair until the second trimester.
2. Make sure that the treatments are applied in well ventilated areas.
3. Do not leave hair chemicals in longer than needed.
4. Make sure that the haid and scalp are thoroughly rinsed with water after the treatment.
5. Wear gloves when applying chemicals and always follow directions carefully.
6. Test on a small patch of hair first and then monitor for allergic reactions.

Troubled teens are the hardest ones to deal with. They end up being the ones who are in control and you’ll feel like you have lost all your control as a parent. But, you can regain that control.

You need to get to the root of the problem and find the perfect solution. Get all the help that you can get and that is what the my out-of-control teen e-book is good at. For a one time payment of $29.00, you will get the e-book and a membership for the online parent support. Still hesitating? It’s a money back guarantee, so you would not worry if in any case that the book does not work.

Click here and start regaining control!

Why do many kids love Anime? When I asked my son the reason why he loves Anime, he said that he loves them because of the nice drawings and storyline. I sat down with him one time while he was watching Naruto. Before I knew it, I was actually searching the net for Naruto episodes that I could have missed. So, here I am, addicted as well. I just crave for Anime videos already and I want to have them as soon as possible.

I found this really cool way to get a hand on all those Anime that I really crave for. For just $37, you will have access to all sorts of anime downloads which include movies, pictures, games and a lot more! And it’s not just a one time download, it is unlimited! You can download anything you want!  Click here to get your anime stuff now!

Everybody worries, even your own kid worries. Nobody can actually escape from being worried. The problem is, adults can take care of themselves when they get worried. If your kid worries, here are some of the things that you can do to help them.

1. Take the time to talk to your kid and find out what it is that is making them worry.

2. Listen to what they say and assure them that you understand their situation. Always offer comfort.

3. Help them figure out a solution to the problem but do not solve it by yourself. Let them handle it on their own.

4. Help them keep things in proper perspective. Explain to them that problems are oftentimes temporary.

5. Be a good role model.

(Healthday News) — Being diabetic should not hinder your child from going out and miss out all the fun of sleepovers and school trips. Here are some tips that you could find useful when your kid needs to go for a trip.

1. Pack a bag containing everything that he needs which includes insulin, syringes, meter, test strips and log book. Always put extras of everything.

2. If they are traveling for several hours, pack several snacks, juices and glucose tablets.

3. If your kid has to switch time zones, talk to your doctor on how to adjust the insulin schedule accodingly.

4. Make sure that he wears a medical ID that notes diabetes.

5. Make sure that he checks glucose levels more frequently away from home.

6. Make sure that the adults accompanying your child understands diabetes and knows how to manage it.

A new Mom took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time. She dressed her in pink from head to toe. At the store, she placed her in the shopping cart and put her purchases around her.

At the checkout line a small boy and his mother were ahead of them. The child was crying and begging for some special treat. He wants some candy or gum and his mother won’t let him have any, she thought.

Then she heard his mother’s reply. "No!" she said, looking in her direction. "You may not have a baby sister today. That lady got the last one!"

Source: http://www.butlerwebs.com/jokes/pregnancy.htm

A 61 year old woman gave birth to her own grand child. Now that’s weird. Let me explain a little bit more. She gave birth to her grandchild because her daughter didn’t have a uterus. It just got a lot more weird.

In Japan, they banned surrogate births but it is not illegal. In a clinic there, a 61 year old woman gave birth because of the fertile egg that her daughter donated. Now that made it clear.

She is probably the oldest woman in the county to give birth.

Think about it this way, she still gave in despite the risk in her health just to give her daughter a daughter. This must be what they call the love of a parent. Its really good that both the woman and the baby is safe.