Parenting Questions and Answers

He’s flunking his grades, he’s ditching school, he’s hanging out with gangsters, he’s smoking pot, he’s having unprotected sex, and the list goes on. Are these not enough to prove that your teen is totally out of control? Don’t let him add some more to the list. These are already bad and it just should not get any worse.

You need to get to the root of the problem and find the perfect solution. Get all the help that you can get and that is what the my out-of-control teen e-book is good at. For a one time payment of $29.00, you will get the e-book and a membership for the online parent support. Still hesitating? It’s a money back guarantee, so you would not worry if in any case that the book does not work.

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Source: http://www.parenting-humor.com/

The following accident reports were filed in conjunction with an automobile collision in which my two daughters somehow managed to run into each other in their own driveway. Both of my vehicles sustained damage.

Older Daughter Report: It wasn’t my fault. I was backing out of the garage and she picked that minute to pull into the driveway. She hit me. Now I’m late and I promised Margi I’d meet her at the mall.

Younger Daughter Report: It wasn’t my fault. I was in the driveway and if she had been watching where she was going instead of putting on her makeup in the rear-view mirror this would never have happened. I tried to steer around her but then I would have hit Dad’s bike, so which was better, hitting the bike or the minivan?

Older Daughter Report: Well you took my makeup from the bathroom which is why I had to use some that I had in the minivan. And anyway I hate driving the minivan. If you had come back on time like you were supposed to this never would have happened, because I would have taken the Jimmy instead.

Younger Report: Well but this Jimmy is falling apart. It has almost 200,000 miles on it and is all rusty. I am really embarrassed to be seen in it. Maybe we should take this as a sign from God that we need a new car.

Older Daughter: Yeah, why don’t we get a new car?

Officer Dad Report: Why on earth would I invest in a new car when you two can’t even get out of the driveway without smashing up the ones we have? And the accident report fails to explain the damage to the garage freezer, which now looks like it was dropped from a building, and to my bicycle, which has a rear tire bent like a yoga instructor.

Older: I find this whole thing very insulting.

Younger: Well look, I told you that I had a choice between hitting the minivan and the bike, didn’t I? So after the first time we hit, I had to do something.

Officer Dad Report: Are you telling me you ran into each other TWICE?

Older: Well because like an idiot she kept going!

Younger: Well what was I supposed to do, she started backing out of the garage again!

Older: Well after I ran into the freezer I had to back up, didn’t I?

Officer Dad: Why did you run into the freezer?

Older: Well because she ran into the back of the minivan, duh!

Younger: I did NOT run into the back of the minivan, she ran into me!

Officer Dad: And then you ran over my bicycle.

Younger: I was taking evasive action because you were still driving like a maniac and putting on your makeup!

Older: No, I was the one who had to be evasive and run into the freezer, or you would have smashed into me again!

Younger: That’s stupid, why would I run into you a second time?

Officer Dad: Especially when the bicycle made such an inviting target.

Older: Well, you DID run into me a second time, who knows why you do these things?

Younger: I’m not going to say anything more because you are being so stupid.

Older: YOU are the one being stupid.

Younger: You are stupid to infinity.

Older: You are stupid infinity plus two.

Officer Dad: So the sequence of events is, the minivan is backing out of the garage, the Jimmy is coming down the driveway, you run into each other, stop, the minivan runs into the freezer, stops, backs up, hits the Jimmy a second time, stops, and then the Jimmy runs into my bicycle. Does that cover it?

Younger: Except that she was putting on makeup.

Older: And I wasn’t moving the whole time.

Officer Dad: Except when you hit the freezer.

Older: Well duh, except for that.

Officer Dad: Okay, any questions before I ground you both until you are too old to drive?

Older: Yeah, so how am I supposed to get to the mall?

Younger: If we get a new car, can it be a Jeep?

When I was a kid, my mom allowed me to be alone at home when I turned 11. Now that I have a kid of my own, I do not even know when I could leave him alone at home.

When I asked my mom, here are some pointers that she gave me in order to find out if my kid can do it alone:

1. If he feels comfortable with the prospect of staying alone.
2. If he has a sense of responsibility with chores, homework and can follow rules and directions.
3. If he stays calm in difficult situations and can handle them correctly.
4. Knows first aid.
5. Can stay away from strangers.

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
– Ogden Nash

A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
– John Bowring

A man can’t make a place for himself in the sun if he keeps taking refuge under the family tree.
– Helen Keller

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it.
– George Moore

At the end of the day, a loving family should find everything forgivable.
– Mark V. Olsen and Will Sheffer

Bringing up a family should be an adventure, not an anxious discipline in which everybody is constantly graded for performance.
– Milton R. Saperstein

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.
– Jane Howard

Families are like fudge… mostly sweet with a few nuts.
– Author Unknown

Families are the compass that guide us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter.
– Brad Henry

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.
– Evan Esar

Family faces are magic mirrors looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present, and future.
– Gail Lumet Buckley

Family is just accident…. They don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are.
– Marsha Norman

Family life is full of major and minor crises — the ups and downs of health, success and failure in career, marriage, and divorce — and all kinds of characters. It is tied to places and events and histories. With all of these felt details, life etches itself into memory and personality. It’s difficult to imagine anything more nourishing to the soul.
– Thomas Moore

Family quarrels have a total bitterness unmatched by others. Yet it sometimes happens that they also have a kind of tang, a pleasantness beneath the unpleasantness, based on the tacit understanding that this is not for keeps; that any limb you climb out on will still be there later for you to climb back.
– Mignon McLaughlin

*Source: http://www.great-inspirational-quotes.com/family-quotes.html

You could have noticed already that almost all babies begin with the words "mama" or "dada". This is much to the delight of parents of course. Now, scientists found out why.

The study began by doing a brain scan on babies while they listened to make up words like mubaba and penana. They heard many words that end in repeating syllables.

It was then seen that the ability of the brain to recognize repetitive sounds is hard wired. Therefore, it is always suggested that "mama" and "dada" should be taught to a child repetitively.

Meeting a picky eater is not entirely new for me. Why? Because I have been one myself. Luckily I grew out of it when I was still a toddler. I don’t know how my mom did it but then it worked! So what will you do if you have a picky eater at home?

I found an e-book that will save the day. The title is, Help I have a Picky Eater in the House. It is a guide that will help you teach your kid to eat good, healthy food. They also have recipes that your kid will gladly eat!

For just a minimal fee of $29.97, you will get the e-book plus other bonuses that will help you get rid of your picky eater. On top of that, they have a 200% guarantee! Why 200? If it does not work in 30 days, you get your money back FULL! AND, you get to keep everything. That is the sweetest deal ever!