Things NOT to say to your wife
As a husband of a pregnant wife, there are things that are better left unsaid. And here is a list of some of them.
"Not to imply anything, but I don’t think the kid weighs forty pounds."
"Y’know, looking at her, you’d never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby!"
"I sure hope your thighs aren’t gonna stay that flabby forever!"
"Well, couldn’t they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl."
"Darn if you ain’t about five pounds away from a surprise visit from Richard Simmons."
"Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that’s gotta hurt."
"I’m jealous! Why can’t men experience the joy of childbirth?"
"Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
"Get your *own* ice cream, Buddha!"
"Got milk?"
"Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."
"Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"
"Retaining water, huh?"
"You don’t have the guts to pull the trigger, Bessie."
*source: http://www.babyman.net/babyhumor.htm
