Parenting Questions and Answers

Censoring tools might be more necessary than you think, especially when you are a concerned parent who gets worry about your child’s preference to television program. And you may be more cautious with the statement of American Psychiatric Association which contends that television has a responsibility in influencing children on their aggressive and even violent behavior.

What makes this fact more disturbing is that The University of Kansas stated that younger children spend more time watching TV. Thus, children have more susceptibility of media influence.

With this, parental guidance is much needed for them to realize the real essence of what they watch. Since these kids don’t have much knowledge about its meaning, they might think that it is okay to do these things. So, parental guidance should always be exercised.

Read more about this matter in:

http://www.savannahnow.com/node/389517

You might find this a surprise but parents who have silly kids can still be less distressed compared to adults who have less responsibility and are single. Yeah, it’s hard to believe this idea, considering that there are parents who get stressed when kids leave their room with mud or cry non-stop. However, there is a survey that proves this matter, supported by a good explanation of a researcher.

• Among 33,400 adults who served as respondents for this survey, parents have less distress compared to single adults.

• 12% of respondents, aged 18-49, who underwent an hour of face-to-face interview, are psychologically distressed compared to 8.9% of parents.

• People who usually experience such state are women, younger adults, and people who have low salary.

According to Dr. Mindy Herman-Stahl, a senior researcher at RTI International, such distress is commonly experienced by adults, experiencing sadness, anxiety, hopelessness, and worthlessness.

To read the full article, go to:
http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=2007%5C11%5C05%5Cstory_5-11-2007_pg6_15

Children in Africa may find themselves unhappy despite their parents sacrifice for them. Women24.com found out about the latest statistics of children who are unhappy with their parents with the survey it conducted recently. Among their respondents were 6417 children in Africa which were composed of 68% white, 15% have mixed bloods, 9% black, and 8% Asian.

• 2/3 of these children say that they are unhappy with their parents who do not spend time with them.

• On the other hand, there are those who responded that they are happy with their parents as they have time to spend together once a week. The percentage of these respondents is 73%.

• Parents should have at least three to six hours of time spending with their children, but this amount of time depends on the age group of their kids.

• Almost half of these children do not acquire an education about sex and AIDS, especially those who came “unplanned.”

• Kids who are in their toddlers and pre-puberty stages are happy by watching TV.

• This case is different to teenagers, who can be as happy as these kids by not watching TV over a week.

To know more about this matter, check:
http://www.thetimes.co.za/PrintEdition/Article.aspx?id=604206

Does it seem like your marriage is getting cold? Everything is not just the way it used too, where you kissed each other for many times and exchange I love you’s. What makes it weird is that, you still love each other, yet you can bring yourselves on that way again.

If you want to ring back the same passion you had with your spouse back then, then these are some of the ways to rekindle that sweetness…..

1. Cook for each other. With some years of marriage, you must have known each other’s favorite meals, right? Since you feel that you need to make your relationship warm again, be the first one to cook for his/her favorite meal. And don’t forget to make your dinner a little special by putting a rose at the center table or lighting a candle. And yeah, make some flirtatious move during dinner.

2. Exchange sweet notes. It doesn’t have to be a long, love letter. Just a little note saying how much you love each other and how your spouse make you happy will do.

3. Show more affection. Start with a touching his/her hand. In this little, but sweet gesture, you can express that “you are there,” and that “you care.” Then hug each other even without any turning events that happen. In this way, you will be able to bring back the warmth that you used to have.

Something that put you into years of grieving. Something that can make you depressed. Something that can put you in a state of mental disturbance. Loss. Something that can put the family into emotional bliss for a while. In addition to that, it may take time in dealing with them, as the loss of a family member can be harder to deal with than you think.

If this loss is dragging you down, then these things can help you get up and move on with your life.

1. Acceptance. This word can be the key to heal your emotional wounds. On the other hand, it can be very difficult as your loved just seemed to be there yesterday…. But now that he/she is gone, you have to face the fact that life has to go on and you have to find your way back to moving, struggling, and reaching your goals.

2. Find something that you can do. Doing recreational activities can help you ease out your pain. As you get busy with other work, your mind is focused on it, helping you to forget your sadness and loss.

At first glance your kid is in front of you, but after a moment, he is away from your sight. As much as you want to see what he is doing, you cannot look after him 24/7. Of course he has to explore the world by himself, with your guidance and companionship of his friends, otherwise he won’t learn anything. However, you are his mother and it’s natural to get worried if he is choosing the right things for him so you want to be sure if he is really seeing the good things….

1. Check the programs that he watches. Media has a great impact on children and what they see on the television can influence their thinking and behavior. If you think that your child is behaving differently and that is because of the sitcoms he;s watching, then it’s time to show some parental advice and tell him the significance of what you are doing. You don’t want him to hate you because you are not allowing him to watch TV, right?

2. Get to know his friends. Just like television, peers have a way of influencing your son, whether it’s in the style of clothes, language, preferences, and even behavior. If you think they can be a good help in making your son better, then you breathe freely, knowing that your son is being accompanied with good friends. On the other hand, if you think that they can also put you child into trouble, then it’s time to step up as a mother and talk to your son about some matters that shouldn’t be done just because his friends are doing it.

It all started like a fairytale. You love each other like everything is heaven-sent. It felt like everything was made for you, that it felt so right….. But then, it began to fall apart and every move you made was a mistake. And right before you knew it, what you had founded collapsed so easily. And there you were, facing your lawyers, filling for divorce papers.

As financially and emotionally stressful as divorce as always been, this can be the best solution for couples who can no longer find any answers despite their countless compromise (which have clearly failed) and several counseling sessions with a professional. But take note, it can be more emotionally heavy during and after the process of divorce – much worse than the impact of having your pockets being almost emptied after your payment to process and other legal matters. To add fuel to the fire, you might find yourself emotionally and even psychologically unprepared for the consequences of what you thought might bring you to salvation.

When you find yourself in this situation, when you find too much burden in your divorced status, here are simple steps you can take that may help you….

1. Talk to a friend. Your friend may be tired of you talking about your screwed-up marriage and what you might be doing wouldn’t turn back everything, but talking can be a way of releasing the weight you are carrying. It can help you to move on.

2. Get busy. Rather than wallowing and regretting the times you spent with your ex-husband, spend your time into more creative, productive, or entertaining matters. Shopping, cross-stitching, painting, or even working are some of the thousand ways to divert your attention from your devastating issues.

3. Consult a professional. This time, it wouldn’t be a marriage counselor. It will be your shrink who can help you move on with your problems, especially that what you had been through is not a joke. This can even save you from developing depression and other psychological problems.

After seeing her grow from a healthy baby to a playful child can bring some nostalgic tears, especially when you are looking at how your child turns into a beautiful lady. However, as you look at her, wrinkles start to appear on your forehead – you beautiful lady is no longer that child that you can talk to since she has her own beliefs now – beliefs that are usually against yours. Worse, you are no longer looking at her face, but you are seeing her turn her back on you, walking towards her room, locking her door and fixing her own issues alone.

This can be a normal instance during your child’s puberty, the stage where everything is a misunderstanding between you and her. While it can be an inevitable when your kid hits adolescence, you can still avoid or minimize such misunderstanding and other teenage issues by building a better relationship with them.

1. Constant communication. Never fail to talk with your teenager – and be sure to do it in a very friendly way. Make them feel that you can be their best friend who won’t judge them or give them orders like the authorities do. When they have issues, address them in a very consoling manner because they can be very sensitive.

2. Be cool. Remember that you were once a teenager. You liked things that were cool in your perspective. Though your teenager lives in a different generation, this idea still applies – that she likes cool things. And being cool, like knowing the trends and current teenage fiasco can be a nice approach to bridge the gap between you.

After exchanging vows with the love of your life, spending your sweet, memorable honeymoon together, and having special time with each other, you are ready to have your own family – with kids running around your home, laughing and cheering….. However, what happens if you, or your spouse, is reproductively challenged? Will this affect your marriage and your family-oriented aspirations?

As as it seems but there are stories which were established with a happy beginning but lasted with a devastating ending. And the reason could be this inability to bear a child. On the other hand, while some marriages are destroyed with such conflict, there are couples who survived this matter with adoption.

People have separate ideas about this. Some want their offspring to come from their own blood while some think that it’s fine to get a child from another couple’s procreation, as it is better to live with this baby in order to save the marriage and find a new source of happiness than to be crashed with another devastating issue.

Since a good point of adoption is starting to give light, there are other better thing which it can give other than saving the marriage from its impeding break-up. The adopted child becomes a couple’s kid, becoming like their own family member. When pride issues start to fade away, accepting this kid can be easier than they think. It’ll be like he/she is created from the love of the couple, a life that represents their devotion to one another. And the other fulfillments will basically be the happiness of having a child.

As much as it gives emotional achievement for both parties, it can also help in a practical sense – or to be more specific, the monetary side of the matter. There can be some sort of business inheritance that needs to be succeeded by a son or daughter, but when the couple doesn’t have the ability to procreated, their adopted child/children can manage this.

Emotional or practical, there are other good things adoption can establish. It’s only a matter of couple’s decision whether to get into this thing or not.

Doesn’t it feel nostalgic? Your offspring used to be a tiny piece of life inside your womb that you carried for nine months. And when that life came out from you, he/she became your bundle of joy…. but now that your kid is starting to grow up – with all that non-stop talking, playing, running around, and eating, you can’t help but miss the days when he/she laid on your arms, speechless, yet his/her yawn and smile seemed to contend thousand of emotions….

On the other hand, your motherhood doesn’t end there. Your kid has to learn and he/she needs a lot of nurturing from you, especially that your parenthood is starting to become more meaningful and more fulfilling.

1. Prepare his/her breakfast. Though your kid doesn’t really understand the essence of your effort, he/she will surely appreciate a breakfast prepared with love and care. Even if it’s just a cereal or a pancake, he/she will have fun knowing that you prepare breakfast for them….. And yeah, don’t forget to join them in his/her meal!

2. Read a story before he/she gets to sleep. Storytelling is a way of a great bonding between mother and child. Telling a story beside him/her is a sign of affection, with such a contact that makes you closer and break a barrier that might occur in later years. Furthermore, this is an entertaining way to teach your kid a profound lesson.

3. Play. Giving him/her a nice toy won’t be enough. Letting him/her play with a playmate is also not enough. Instead of leaving his/her fun childhood memories to toys and playmates, it will be much fun if you join him/her during playtime. Build a sand castle together or chase each other is a good and fun way to bond with your child.